I AM LADY NEAR-RETELL
DEDICATION: I want to thank the wonderful folks at the Harry Potter Lexicon for helping me keep my canon straight (even when I'm writing slash), everyone on LiveJournal and FanFiction.net who has posted encouraging feedback on my writing and notified me of errors, and of course the incomparable J. K. Rowling, without whom none of this would be possible.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and the wizarding world are the sole property of J. K. Rowling. I own nothing except my own ideas, and make no profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Fics are listed more or less chronologically in the Potterverse. This page is currently undergoing a major canon-edit to bring these stories as much in line with completed canon as possible. Some, however, must perforce be relegated to Alternate Universe (AU), and are marked as such below. If you find any typographical or canon errors, please let me know; I want these stories to be the best they possibly can be.
Table of Contents
| TITLE | GENRE | RATING | LEAD or PAIRING | TIMELINE | WORDS | STATUS |
| Gryffindor on the Cusp of Slytherin | Drama/AU | PG-13 | Lina McLaggen | 1942 - 1943 | 6889 | complete |
| The Education of Madeleine Yaxley | Drama/Smut | NC-17 | Madeleine Yaxley (OC) | 1974 - 1975 | 16150 | complete |
| M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! | Parody | PG-13 | Madeleine & Maggie (OCs) | 1975 | 12698 | complete |
| The Zenith and Nadir of Severus Snape | Drama/Smut | NC-17 | Severus/Lily | 1976 | 2798 | in progress... |
| The Plot Bunny | Crack!Fic | PG-13 | Severus Snape | 1977 | 1260 | complete |
| That Awful Boy | Drama/Smut | NC-17 | Severus/Lily | 1977 | 6027 | complete |
| Excerpts from the Diary of Regulus Black | Drama/AU | R | Severus/Regulus | 1971 - 1979 | 1488 | complete |
| Fuck Toy | Drama/AU | NC-17 | Severus/Regulus | 1977 - 1979 | 4542 | complete |
| A Polyjuice Duet | Humour/Smut | NC-17 | Remus/Sirius | 1978 | 7855 | complete |
| There is a War | Drama | NC-17 | James/Lily | 1978 - 1980 | 23339 | complete |
| Son and Heir | Drama | R | Narcissa Malfoy | 1980 | 1303 | complete |
| Secret Keepers | Drama | R | James/Lily, Peter, Harry | 1981 | 20694 | complete |
| One Hell of a Woman | Smut | NC-17 | Kingsley Shacklebolt | 1982 | 2826 | complete |
| Survivor's Guilt: Padfoot's Tale | Drama | NC-17 | Remus/Sirius | 1981 - 1994 | 61621 | complete |
| Survivor's Guilt: Moony's Tale | Drama | NC-17 | Remus/Sirius | 1993 - 1994 | 70605 | complete |
| The Tropical Adventures of Moony & Padfoot | Romance | NC-17 | Remus/Sirius | 1994 | 31512 | COMPLETE!! |
| Paper Thin Hotel | Drama/Smut | NC-17 | Severus/Regulus | 1996 | 1925 | complete |
| Linked | Drama | PG | Harry/Neville | 1996 | 1749 | complete |
| A Tale of the Second War: The Power of Two | Drama/AU | PG-13 | Fred & George | 1996 - 1998 | 34006 | complete |
| A Tale of the Second War: The Night Before | Drama/AU | NC-17 | Multicharacter | 1998 | 17383 | complete |
| The Great Unknown | Crossover/AU | PG | Sirius Black | Post-OotP | 1622 | complete |
| Thrall | Smut | NC-17 | Ron/Lorcan/Molly | 1998 | 5177 | complete |
| The Dursleys' Worst Nightmare | Romance | PG | Dudley/Cho | 2002 | 2738 | complete |
| Backstage | Crack!Fic/AU | PG-13 | Remus/Sirius | None | 11110 | complete |
Title: Gryffindor on the Cusp of Slytherin (October 1942 - Spring 1943)
Rating: PG-13 for adult themes
Status: Complete (6889 words)
Written: May 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, AU
Main Characters: Lina McLaggen, Tom Riddle
Main Pairing: Tom/Lina
Summary: A Gryffindor girl learns why Slytherin boys are better left alone.
Title: The Education of Madeleine Yaxley (Summer 1974 - January 1975)
Rating: NC-17 for underage sex, sexual abuse, attempted rape, masturbation, dubious consent, group sex, incest, femmeslash, slash
Status: Complete (16150 words)
Written: February 2007 - December 2008 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, Smut, Coming of Age
Main Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Rabastan Lestrange
Main Pairings: Rabastan/Madeleine, Rodolphus/Bellatrix, Lucius/Narcissa, Peter/Madeleine
Summary: Madeleine Yaxley tries to be a good pure-blood girl, but when you're 15, sometimes it's hard to know what the rules are.
A/N: The purpose of this story is to explore some of the sexual myths which are frequently perpetuated among teenagers regarding things like the importance of virginity and what "counts" as sex. If you have ever been a teenager, this fic is for you.
Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die: A Morality Tale of Canon Rape (April - September 1975)
Rating: PG-13 for strong language and references to sex
Status: Complete (10144 words, 12698 with footnotes)
Written: January - February 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Crack!Fic, Fandom Parody
Main Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Maggie Lewis (OC), Marvola Arwen Raevyn Yvette Salazara Umekiko Elfynchyld (OC), Peter Pettigrew
Main Pairings: Remus/Marvola, Peter/Madeleine
Summary: A new girl arrives at Hogwarts. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She has curves in all the right places. Everyone loves her. Everyone except Madeleine and Maggie, that is. With many amusing and enlightening footnotes on "how not to write fanfic".
A/N: Dedicated to the wonderful babb_chronicles, which inspired so much of this story. Thank you to eskimosatan for generously allowing me to borrow the D.T.U.C.
Title: The Zenith and Nadir of Severus Snape (Spring 1976)
Rating: NC-17 for underage sex
Status: In Progress... (2798 words)
Written: February 2009 - Present
Genre: Drama, Smut, Angst, Coming of Age
Main Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans
Main Pairing: Severus/Lily
Summary: It's Spring, they're sixteen, and studying for OWLs is not exactly the first thing on their minds.
Title: The Plot Bunny (Spring 1977)
Rating: PG-13 for masturbation (brief)
Status: Complete (1250 words)
Written: October 2006 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Crack!Fic
Main Character: Severus Snape
Main Pairing: None
Summary: In which we learn why Snape decided to give the world of Animagi a miss.
Title: That Awful Boy (August 1977)
Rating: NC-17 for sex and mind-altering drugs potions
Status: Complete (6027 words)
Written: June 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, Romance, Teen, Smut
Main Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans
Main Pairing: Severus/Lily
Summary: In the summer before their seventh year, Lily and Severus attempt to renew their friendship with mixed results.
A/N: Unedited pre-Deathly Hallows version is still available here.
Title: Excerpts From the Diary of Regulus Black (June 1971 - October 1979) (text-only version)
Rating: R for language, character death, slash, underage sex and dubious consent
Status: Complete (1488 words)
Written: May - June 2005 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: AU due to DH, Drama, Angst, Slash, Multimedia (paper, pen, water, chocolate, photoshop)
Main Characters: Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Severus Snape
Main Pairing: Severus/Regulus
Summary: Sixteen significant entries from Regulus's diary dating between 1971 and 1979 (dates canon-edited in text version).
Title: Fuck Toy (April 1977 - October 1979)
Rating: NC-17 for language, slash, rape, underage sex, violence and character death
Status: Complete (4542 words)
Written: June 2005 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: AU due to DH, Drama, Angst, Slash
Main Characters: Severus Snape, Regulus Black
Main Pairing: Severus/Regulus
Summary: Sequel to Excerpts From the Diary of Regulus Black. Snape's relationship with Regulus Black, why he changed sides, and why Dumbledore is reluctant to share the reason publicly.
Title: A Polyjuice Duet (Spring 1978)
Rating: NC-17 for slash and gender-bending sex
Status: Complete (7855 words)
Written: August - September 2004 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Humour, Smut
Main Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Sirius discovers an interesting book in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts library. Polyjuice hijinks ensue.
A/N: Thank you fadagaski for the plot bunny for part two.
Title: There is a War (February 1978 - August 1980)
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex, violence and rape
Status: Complete (23339 words)
Written: July 2006 - January 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, Romance
Main Characters: Lily Evans, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Main Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/Sirius
Summary: A kiss, a rape, a tragedy, a night of passion, a wedding, a pregnancy, a narrow escape, and a birth. The true story of the romance of James Potter and Lily Evans.
A/N: There is a War lyrics are property of Leonard Cohen.
Title: Son and Heir (5 June 1980)
Rating: R for language, violence and pure-blood mentality
Status: Complete (1303 words)
Written: March 2005 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy
Main Pairings Narcissa/Lucius
Summary: The less-than-joyful circumstances of Draco's birth.
Title: Secret Keepers (Autumn 1981)
Rating: R for language, sex, violence, and Dark magic
Status: Complete (20694 words)
Written: July 2004 - October 2005 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Lily Potter, James Potter, Harry Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Main Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/Sirius, Peter/OC
Summary: The final days leading up to the Potters' deaths. In which Lily resorts to Dark magic, James is not a hero, Peter justifies himself, and Harry sees all but understands very little.
A/N: Lily's protective measures are not entirely canon-compliant. Thank you Lilith_L from FictionAlley.org, who fed me the plot bunny for part three.
Title: One Hell of a Woman (October 1982)
Rating: NC-17 for underage sex and snarky gargoyles
Status: Complete (2826 words)
Written: September 2007
Genre: Smut
Main Characters: Kingsley Shacklebolt
Main Pairing: Kingsley/Helga (no, really!)
Summary: Kingsley becomes strangely obsessed with his house's Founder.
A/N: This fic was the result of a bizarro pairings challenge on hp_adult.
Title: Survivor's Guilt: Padfoot's Tale (November 1981 - June 1994)
Rating: NC-17 for slash, sex, dubious consent, violence and masturbation
Status: Complete (61621 words)
Written: September 2004 - October 2006
Genre: Drama, Slash, Romance, Angst
Main Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: A retelling of Prisoner of Azkaban (and the events preceding it) from the point of view of Sirius Black. Sirius's experiences in and escape from Azkaban, and his struggle to prove his innocence to his former lover and the son of his best friend. Second half parallels Survivor's Guilt: Moony's Tale.
Title: Survivor's Guilt: Moony's Tale (August 1993 - June 1994)
Rating: PG-13 for slash, except NC-17 for underage first time sex
Status: Complete (70605 words)
Written: June - November 2004 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, Slash, Romance, Angst
Main Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: A retelling of Prisoner of Azkaban from the point of view of Remus Lupin. Remus struggles to come to terms with his former lover's baffling actions. Parallels second half of Survivor's Guilt: Padfoot's Tale. Heavy in Marauders-era flashbacks.
A/N: My very first fanfic. A big thank you to my betas, goldennotblonde and aurora_paws! Thanks also to hp_joss_isboss for the amazing fanmix she put together for Survivor's Guilt.
Title: The Tropical Adventures of Moony and Padfoot (June - September 1994)
Rating: NC-17 for slash and sex
Status: Complete (31512 words)
Written: December 2005 - March 2010
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slash, Humour
Main Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: What Remus and Sirius really got up to during the summer between PoA and GoF.
A/N: Thank you, shishio, for the wonderful artwork in the first chapter! I apologise if I have done a poor job of rendering a Caribbean accent into text. Please do not hesitate to make suggestions about how I might improve it.
Title: Paper Thin Hotel (Early 1996)
Rating: NC-17 for language, slash, sex and prostitution
Status: Complete (1925 words)
Written: December 2005 - December 2006 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama, Angst, Slash
Main Characters: Severus Snape, unnamed prostitute (OC)
Main Pairing: Severus/Regulus
Summary: Sometimes life at Grimmauld Place is more than Severus can stand. Especially when Remus and Sirius are in the next room.
A/N: "Paper Thin Hotel" lyrics are property of Leonard Cohen.
Title: Linked (June 1996)
Rating: PG for mild slash
Status: Complete (1749 words)
Written: June 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom
Main Pairing: Harry/Neville
Summary: In the days following the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Harry has trouble sleeping. He decides to talk to the one person who might understand.
Title: A Tale of the Second War: The Power of Two (Autumn 1996 - June 1998)
Rating: PG-13 for character death, violence, banter and occasional language
Status: Complete (34006 words)
Written: August 2004 - October 2007
Genre: Drama (AU post-OotP)
Main Characters: Fred and George Weasley, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter
Main Pairing: None
Summary: A tragic incident in Knockturn Alley sparks a series of events that will bring about the end of the second war.
Title: A Tale of the Second War: The Night Before (June 1998)
Rating: NC-17 for sex, violence and implied rape
Status: Complete (17383 words)
Written: September 2006 - September 2007
Genre: Romance, Humour, Drama, Angst (AU post-OotP)
Main Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Remus Lupin, Ernie Macmillan, Luna Lovegood, Peter Pettigrew, Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Draco Malfoy
Main Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Neville, Remus/Hermione, Ernie/Luna, Peter/Madeleine, Lucius/Narcissa, Fenrir/Draco
Summary: A spinoff of The Power of Two, taking place at the same time as Chapter 11, and looking at what a few other characters are doing on the eve of the final battle.
Title: The Great Unknown (Post-OotP)
Rating: PG for mentioned slash
Status: Complete (1622 words)
Written: January 2007 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU, Crossover with A Series of Unfortunate Events
Main Characters: Sirius Black, Quigley Quagmire (aSoUE)
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Sirius makes a new friend beyond the Veil.
Title: Thrall (July 1998)
Rating: NC-17 for slash, incest, dubious consent and vampirism
Status: Complete (5177 words)
Written: October 2007
Genre: Drama, Smut
Main Characters: Ron Weasley, Molly Weasley, Lorcan d'Eath
Main Pairing: Ron/Lorcan/Molly
Summary: While cleaning the attic at the Burrow, Ron finds something his mother hid away long ago, and for good reason.
A/N: This fic was the result of a bizarro pairings challenge on hp_adult.
Title: The Dursleys' Worst Nightmare (Summer 2002)
Rating: PG for speculation about Hagrid's origins
Status: Complete (2738 words)
Written: February 2009
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Romance
Main Characters: Dudley Dursley, Cho Chang
Main Pairings: Dudley/Cho, Harry/Ginny
Summary: At Harry and Ginny's wedding, Dudley discovers that every girl in the Wizarding world wants to meet famous Harry Potter's cousin.
Title: Backstage (No Year)
Rating: PG-13 for banter and language
Status: Complete (11110 words)
Written: September 2004 - November 2006 (canon-edited post-DH)
Genre: Crack!Fic (AU)
Main Characters: Various incarnations of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black
Main Pairing: Remus/Sirius, but with something for everyone
Summary: A behind-the-scenes look at what the various characters get up to when they're not "acting" in canon or fanfic.
A/N: Thank you to cenori for the original plot bunny, and jin_fenghuang for Part Two.
Title: In Dreams Alone
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Status: Complete (422 words)
Written: September 2007
Genre: Angst
Main Characters: Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor
Main Pairing: Ten/Rose
Summary: The dreams are the only thing that seems real anymore. (Spoilers for Doomsday)
Title: No One to Blame But Myself
Fandom: Tamora Pierce's Tortall Series
Rating: PG-13 for language and implied slash
Status: In Progress... (3693 words)
Written: May 2005 - present (on hiatus)
Genre: Drama, AU
Main Characters: Alanna of Trebond, Faithful, Thom of Trebond, Duke Roger of Conte, Alex of Tirragen
Main Pairings: Thom/Roger/Alex, Roger/Alanna
Summary: Alanna decided to prove herself as a lady rather than a knight. At the age of 15, she is presented at court. It is rumoured the heir to the throne is seeking a wife. (Spoilers for "the Song of the Lioness" Quartet)
Title: Daine's Choice
Fandom: Tamora Pierce's Tortall Series
Rating: PG-13
Status: In Progress... (1506 words)
Written: February 2003 - present (on hiatus)
Genre: Romance
Main Characters: Daine Sarrasri, Numair Salmalin
Main Pairing: Daine/Numair
Summary: In the aftermath of the war with Carthak, Daine takes the time to examine her heart. (Spoilers for "the Immortals" Quartet)
Title: Family
Fandom: Diana Gabaldon's Outlander Series
Rating: PG
Status: Complete (691 words)
Written: November 2006
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Brianna and Roger MacKenzie
Main Pairing: Roger/Brianna
Summary: Brianna goes on a journey to find one more family member. (Spoilers for A Breath of Snow and Ashes, AU due to And Echo in the Bone)
(WARNING: Here be Sues)
Title: Archie Smith, Boy Wonder
Rating: PG
Status: Unfinished (4139 words)
Written: 1994ish
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Stu/Suefic
Main Characters: Archie Smith (aka ERTHCHYL, aka Prince LYFENPHYAR), Princess CHYLFRAN,
Main Pairings: Obviously heading toward LYFENPHYAR/CHYLFRAN
Summary: An ordinary boy finds out he has a Very Special Destiny in another world. With a princess. Who can talk to animals.
A/N: The original idea for this story came from The Mysteries of Harris Burdick by Chris Van Allsburg. On each page was a title, one line from the story and an illustration.
Title: Hero Fighter
Rating: PG
Status: Unfinished (8703 words)
Written: 1994ish
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Suefic
Main Characters: Dominique (aka Dominic, aka Dagger), Prince Gem, Fern
Main Pairing: Gem/Dominique
Summary: A young girl disguises herself as a boy in order to become a warrior. She and the handsome prince begin a rivalry, but he finds her out and they fall in lurve. And have a Very Special Destiny.
A/N: Heavily, heavily influenced by my great love of Tamora Pierce. This story may have undergone some editing in 2001, but clearly not enough.
Title: The Legend of the Silver Statue
Rating: PG
Status: Unfinished (4315 words)
Written: 1994ish
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Suefic
Main Characters: Saro, the Stranger (aka Argentus), Cass the Friendly Panther
Main Pairing: Argentus/Saro, probably
Summary: A young outlaw chief and her pet panther must help a mysterious stranger on his quest to find a Very Special Destiny.
A/N: Years ago, my friend (then boyfriend) told me about a story he was writing, wherein one of the characters was based on myself. I liked his description so much (vanity!) that I lifted the character and stuck her in this story, the based Argentus on him.
Title: Come and See
Rating: PG
Status: Unfinished (5355 words)
Written: 1994ish
Genre: Fantasy, Humour, Suefic
Main Characters: Molly (aka Amara Nimus), Danae (aka Nepa Cor), Liz (aka Shayseah Lins), Violet (aka Digna Amara)
Main Pairing: Fortunately none yet
Summary: Welcome to the land of Very Special Destinies! And fun! Don't forget fun! And Clever Wordplay!
A/N: I am very fond of this particular piece of autobiographical fantasy. That is not to say I am especially proud of it, or think it is in any way a great story. It is based on my high school church camp and a number of the people I knew there. The difference between this and the above stories is that this one is actually meant to be very, very silly. I used to have about 13 chapters of this story on my computer, but accidentally erased it. I still have a hard copy, but retyping would be a bitch. The dedication is from something I wrote when I was in first grade.
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All fanfiction on this page, excepting recommendations © 2004-2010 Skjaere
Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding World © 1997-2010 J. K. Rowling